I pictured my first year of postpartum, I pictured newborn snuggles, breastfeeding bliss, and cuddling my calm and happy newborn. What I was unprepared for was endless sleepless nights, depression, anger, frustration, arguments with my partner, insomnia, and rage.  

At my six-week appointment, I was screened for postpartum anxiety and depression, like many new moms. Although I scored high on this screening test, my doctor was not too concerned and sent me home with a flier and said “see you at your yearly check-up”. As the weeks and months went on I started experiencing frequent bouts of anger and rage which peaked at about four months postpartum.  

When I consulted Dr.Google the majority of research and information was based solely on postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. Anger is an element of perinatal mood disorder for some women but is not included in the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale screening tool. This left me feeling alone, guilty, sad, ashamed, and like I was cheated out of the newborn blissful stage. The unspoken truth is that maternal postpartum mental health education and resources are lacking. 

What are the symptoms of postpartum rage?

If you are here and reading this I can assume that you or someone you know is experiencing postpartum rage. I want to start this by saying, you are not alone mama, in fact nearly 22% of new moms experience postpartum mood disorder more serious than the baby blues. Most women have heard about postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, but what about us moms that experience anger and rage? Postpartum anger and rage can surface for numerous reasons and The University of British Columbia found that most often 

“Mothers may feel that they have not met their own expectations and that also others may judge them because, for example, they're formula-feeding instead of breastfeeding. Many mothers have also expressed feeling let down by others in terms of support from partners, family members, and health-care providers as well."

Symptoms of Postpartum rage include:

• Intense anger
• Anxiety 
• Extreme irritability 
• Excessive crying
• Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
• Withdrawal from loved ones
• Negative feelings or little interest in her baby
• Loss of interest in daily activities
• Feelings of worthlessness

What are treatments or methods to help with postpartum rage?

Feelings of postpartum rage and anger show up differently in every mother. Figuring out what is triggering these feelings is often helpful in treatment and recovery. Like me, if you have experienced these feelings please speak out to your healthcare provider and ask for help. Treatments can include:

• Support. Ask for help or reach out to a Perinatal Mental Health specialist. Speaking with a therapist has been the best decision I made for my mental health postpartum. This safe space allows me to explore these feelings without judgment for guilt to overcome these feelings. 

• Valid your feelings. I was taught this practice in my first therapy session and can be a helpful tool. Saying out loud to yourself. “Yes, I am feeling angry, upset, and mad because this is hard. Nothing is wrong with me and I am a Great Mom”

• Deep Breathing. First, put your baby in a safe space like a crib or car seat. Step out of the room, plug your ears, and take 5 deep breaths. Practice a core breath by sitting with a neutral pelvis and placing one hand on your belly and the other on the side of your ribs. Inhale to expand into both hands and exhale through pursed lips and contract your core. 

• Progressive Muscle Relaxation. Tighten one muscle group for 2-3 seconds then relax. Start at the head and end at the toes. Breathe in, tense the first muscle group for 4 to 10 seconds then breathe out, and suddenly and completely relax the muscle group. Relax for 10 to 20 seconds before you work on the next muscle group. Notice the difference between how the muscles feel when they are tense and how they feel when they are relaxed.

You Are Not Alone

Your mental health matters and you are not alone. When a baby is born so is a mother. You and your baby are learning and growing together, anger is very normal in the postpartum period when managed. Remember that feelings of postpartum rage do not make you a bad mom, help is out there for you. Normalizing this conversation and more research around postpartum mental health, rage, in particular, is the next best step to help moms. 

Help for postpartum mood disorders

• Postpartum Support International (PSI) offers a phone crisis line (800-944-4773) and text support (503-894-9453), as well as referrals to local providers.
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
• Trusted Source has free 24/7 helplines available for people in a crisis who may be considering taking their lives. Call 800-273-8255 or text “HELLO” to 741741.
• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) is a resource that has both a phone crisis line (800-950-6264) and a text crisis line (“NAMI” to 741741) for anyone who needs immediate assistance.
• Motherhood Understood is an online community started by a postpartum depression survivor offering electronic resources and group discussions via mobile app.
• The Mom Support Group offers free peer-to-peer support on Zoom calls led by trained facilitators.
• Mom Strong Community at instagram.com/coachkelseyjean

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Hi, I’m Kelsey, founder of Mom Strong. I help empower and support new moms. Motherhood strength is not measured just in muscles but in love and attention for your mind, body, and community. Join our Mom Strong Squad for more education, support, and inspiration at instagram.com/coachkelseyjean