Toxic positivity in motherhood is the idea that we should always be happy and positive, even in the face of difficult circumstances. It's the idea that we should brush off our struggles and only focus on the good things in life. On social media, it's often seen in posts and messages that encourage moms to "just be positive" or to "look on the bright side." There can be a strong expectation for moms to always be happy, to prioritize their children's needs over their own, and not complain about their struggles. This way of thinking can be incredibly harmful to our mental health as moms, who are already dealing with the many challenges that come with raising a family.
One of the biggest problems with toxic positivity in motherhood is that it can make us feel like we're not allowed to have negative feelings or authentic feelings. We feel like we need to put on a brave face and pretend that everything is okay, even when it's not. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, as we feel like we can't talk about our struggles with anyone. I have experienced this firsthand from others who mean well but repeatedly say things like: “Cherish every moment”, “Soak it all up”, “It can’t be that bad”, and “Good vibes only.”
Toxic positivity can also make it hard for moms to get the help they need. If we believe that we should always be happy, we might be less likely to reach out for help when we're struggling. This can lead to problems going unaddressed and can make our mental health struggles worse over time especially early in postpartum. This is why I have found the confidence to share my story of mental illness on IG@LiveMomStrong to connect with other moms in the same season of life.
I have learned it's important to acknowledge that it's okay to feel the positive and negative emotions of motherhood. We're not robots, we're human beings, and it's normal to have a wide range of emotions. Experiencing and expressing negative emotions doesn’t mean we are bad moms or don’t love our kids any less but allows us to be honest with ourselves.
Secondly, we should surround ourselves with supportive people who understand and validate our feelings, instead of trying to push us to be positive all the time. By sharing my story I have found my best mom friends who are supportive and understanding. And lastly, it is important to seek professional help when necessary, whether it's seeing a therapist or a counselor, to help us navigate through difficult emotions and experiences.
In short, toxic positivity can be incredibly harmful to our mental health as moms. It can make us feel like we're not allowed to have negative feelings, can make it hard for us to get the help we need, and can make our struggles worse over time. It's important to acknowledge that it's okay to have negative feelings, surround ourselves with supportive people, and seek professional help when necessary. Mama, your feelings are real and valid. In case no one told you lately, You are a great mom!
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Hi, I’m Kelsey, founder of Mom Strong. I help empower and support new moms. Motherhood strength is not measured just in muscles but in love and attention for your mind, body, and community. Everyones motherhood journey is different so listen to your mama instinct, build that confidence, and always remember just how strong you are. I hope that by reading this you can build your own list of confidence for this pregnancy and postpartum experience. Join our Mom Strong Squad for more education, support, and inspiration at instagram.com/coachkelseyjean
Author: Kelsey Jean, Co-Author ChatGPT