As a first-time mom, I felt excited and anxious about welcoming a baby into our home. I was completely overwhelmed by the endless amounts of information, advice (wanted or unsolicited), birthing classes, and breastfeeding courses. Until you bring a baby into your own you have no idea what it will be like. No textbook can prepare you for the exhaustion, constant diaper changes, schedules, and cluster feds. I like to use the phrase “You don’t know until you know, ya know?”
For much of the 4th trimester I felt confused and alone because I wasn’t fully “enjoying” the newborn stage and loving breastfeeding like everyone else. This led to feeling of postpartum anxiety, depression, and rage. The "irrational mom rage" I was feeling was me actually working through a very valid emotional response to being touched out, sleeping horrible, constantly putting someone else needs before my own, trouble breastfeeding, dealing with the invisible load of motherhood, and comparing myself to other moms.
In this two part series I will be sharing things I’m doing differently this pregnancy. labor, delivery, and 4th trimester. Part 1 is all about pregnancy, labor and delivery. I now have the confidence to make the best decision for myself and my children to have a better pregnancy journey, labor experience and help prevent and ease symptoms of postpartum anxiety and rage.
Physical movement
The benefits of physical activity during pregnancy helps to prepare your body for labor and delivery but also building strength to thrive during the 4th trimester. Labor is a marathon so as a former collegiate runner I focused on cardio (walking, low-impact cardio, endurance exercises). This did serve me well considering I was in labor for almost 23 hours, what I lacked was flexibility, breathing, core strength for pushing, and upper body strength. My focus this time will be on prenatal yoga, core breathing, and upper body strength to carry two babies and baby wear.
Mindfulness for labor & delivery
Every day during my first pregnancy I would write out this mantra. “I am strong, I am safe, I am comforted, every surge brings us one moment closer to being together”. In addition to this mantra, I want to focus on mindfulness and mental strength through meditation, core breathing, and visualization. Mental strength during labor and delivery is just as important as physical strength.
Hire a doula
During my 23 hours of labor I vividly remember the nurse standing at my bedside and clicking away on her computer non stop. Like how many notes can one nurse possible take? After my epidural she would occasionally move my position but other than a few interactions I wish she would have just left the room. My husband and mom were the greatest support team but with the lack of support from the nurse they had to expand their roles outside of husband and mom. A doula/profession will be there to help support my labor, coach my support people, and help me feel most comfortable.
Birth and postpartum plan
We overlooked the birth and postpartum plan during my first pregnancy. With round 1 under our belts we have the confidence to make these decision and plan before baby number two arrives. Although we will be prepared with our plan of action (POA) we will be flexible because plans change. The birth plan will address my preferences, comfort, and communication, etc, while the postpartum plan will cover parents sleep schedules, feedings, household chores, parental leave, and parental responsibilities etc.
Ordering that taco bell
I am putting less pressure on myself to eat perfect, follow the “rules” and listen to other peoples opinions. Who makes the rules anyway? I was so self conscious about stepping onto the scale at every appointment the first pregnancy that I have let go of those insecurities. I know what is best for my body and my baby. I can eat the salad AND have the ice cream, it’s not one or the other.
Buy the dang maternity clothes
It was hard for me to justify paying for maternity clothes that I would only wear for a few months, but mama buy the dang clothes. Trust me you will want to feel the most comfortable and confident while you are pregnant. The drastic body changes really affected my self-image and left me feeling super down on myself. Maternity clothes are made for a reason to help you look and feel your best while showing off that amazing mom bod.
Lactation consultant
Read my blog on 10 Things I Wish I Knew About Breastfeeding to hear the full story of how our breastfeeding journey began. Fingers crossed this time around I will not be delivering on a holiday weekend in which the lactation consultants are on vacation. Before leaving the hospital I will be scheduling for a at-home evaluation to help ease my tension, control, answer questions, and create a plan that best supports my baby and lifestyle. I want to let go of the pressure to exclusively breastfed, anxiety around leaving my baby for more than 3 hours and sleep more throughout the night. I know that this will be the number 1 hardest things for me to accomplish but I am ready to willing to let go of that pressure and guilt.
This baby is already loved so much so it's time for this mama to love herself just as much. Everyones motherhood journey is different so listen to your mama instinct, build that confidence, and always remember just how strong you are.
#MomStrong
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Hi, I’m Kelsey, founder of Mom Strong. I help empower and support new moms. Motherhood strength is not measured just in muscles but in love and attention for your mind, body, and community. Join our Mom Strong Squad for more education, support, and inspiration at instagram.com/coachkelseyjean