The magical joy of bringing home a newborn is truly an incredible feeling. You really don’t know what you need and want until you need or want it. So I am guessing that you clicked on this because you yourself are a new mama or you want to help a new mama in your life.
The truth is, the best way to show you care is just by being there and showing up. Everyone is different and every baby is different so start with just asking the family how you can support. At first she might be hesitant to accept help and inside she may have an intense feeling of guilt but don’t let that stop you. Offer help with judgment free eyes, with an accepting heart, with openness and love.
Here are 10 things you can do to help right now that she will appreciate;
Help her sleep
She is probably on her third microwaved coffee, was up all night with a crying baby and does not want to answer the questions “how did your baby sleep?” Offer to watch the baby so that she can go and rest for however long she needs.
Cleaning crew
Bring over your very own cleaning supplies (I promise, she will not want to instruct you on where everything is located). With judgement free eyes and comments just start clearing. If she gets up to help you, say “I got this, just relax."
Meal train
This is huge lifesaver. Help set up a meal train for the first two weeks baby is home and then at the 4-week mark. After about the first month, people tend to forget about new mamas and honestly 4 weeks begins the real struggle. The sleep deprivation has taken a toll, she feels forgotten and likely her partner is back to work. These meals are crucial to the survival of mama and dad
Take pictures
Canid pictures are the best. Set up a shared album with photo circle for friends and family to add freely. Many of the photos she has are of her baby and other people but she also wants pictures of herself with her newborn. She is hesitant to ask as she doesn’t want to come off annoying, so take photos first.
Spend time with her
The days are long and the nights are longer, she is craving adult interaction. She may want to talk about her baby, herself or something totally unrelated to motherhood so let her lead the conversation.
Watch the kids so the parents can go on a date
The timing of this one can be very tricky. Especially if it is the first date after the baby arrives. Both the parents will feel anxious yet excited so arrive with confidence and words of encouragements. Encourage the parents to go somewhere close by for a short period of time and if it last longer you will be prepared. If they text you for updates, respond with love and encouragement. Even if the baby is crying but you got it handled, no need to tell them as it will add stress to their already stressful minds.
Don’t forget about her
She may not respond to text message or phone calls but she is not ignoring you so please don’t forget about her. In the whirlwind of trying to keep herself and her baby alive the last thing she is thinking about is answering her text messages. I am assure you she is reading them at 3 am while she is nursing her baby in a dark nursery. So simply by send friendly messages to let her know you are thinking about her.
Do something helpful
Anything. Grocery shopping, dropping off a coffee on the doorstep, making her dinner, picking up dog food or even taking the dogs for a walk. Sometimes the simplest tasks make the world of difference.
Send word of encouragement
Send a text message “No need to respond, just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you and let you know that you are doing a great job”. She probably feels alone and isolated so letting her know that you are there for her and that she is rocking motherhood may be all she needs.
Never arrive empty handed
Pick up diaper or wipes on the way over to her house. Grab a coffee, bring snack, make her lunch, or even a bouquet of flowers. Any small gestures will make an impact on her day.